Cherish the Single Life: Guest Post

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I always sort of knew that I'd get married. It was somehow built in to my wiring, ingrained in who I am. Of course, it probably would have saved me some time and heartache if I'd also had a Zeke-detecting tracker in my wiring as well that somehow flashed "YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND" every time I saw him, but alas. No luck there.

Being single was hard for me. It was hard to know that while I was designed for marriage, I had to wait for someday, for the right time, before marriage would be a part of my life. It was easy for me to be irritated with God while I was single. I mean, why wire me for marriage and then leave me without a guy?

... Take it away, Bianca!

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In my last blog post, I promised to offer some advice about what to do during your time of singleness. Before I offer my own opinions, let’s take a look at what the Bible has to say about singleness. In 1 Corinthians 7:8, Paul says:

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” (NIV)

In verse 32-35, Paul goes on to say,

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs--how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife--and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” (NIV)

What can we learn from this passage? Here, Paul gives us a framework for what singleness is supposed to be about. In his singleness, Paul did not wallow around complaining about why he was still single or dating around. Instead, he put his focus on spreading the message of Jesus Christ to non-believers. Wow! Paul believed that it was best to learn about Christ and grow closer to Him while being single because there are no obligations to a spouse during that time.

Paul wanted us to use our singleness to find God’s purpose for our lives. That takes time and effort on our part. Here’s the silver lining: as we’re learning more about God and ourselves, we will naturally showcase who we are to the world. This can attract like-minded people, and may also be a way to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right!

Something to think about

In all things, remember, we as Christians are set apart in this world. We are a peculiar people. It’s okay to behave differently than other people in the world do, because we have a higher calling and we report to Jesus. So, when people ask you why you’ve chosen to go to Bible study instead of going on a blind date, you can tell them “I’m giving my undivided devotion to the Lord. I’m single!”

Be blessed, fam! God loves you and so do I.

Bianca Brandveen is a mechanical engineer who writes at Defy Stereotypes, with topics spanning from racism to relationships to music. Check out what else she has to say at her blog!