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Monday, August 25, 2014


"So, what do you think?"

That question usually makes me cringe a little.

I'm good at offering advice about stuff- like where to find good paper for wedding invitations or the most important motorcycle gear. That's all okay, because I feel like I've got some experience in that. After all, I made my own invitations and ride motorcycle pretty often.

But when it comes to relationships? It's different.

The trouble is that every relationship is so different. Every person is so different. The qualities that I needed in a husband are probably vastly different from the ones you may need. My priorities may be hugely different than yours. And that's okay. But it does make the advice-giving more tricky.

I don't know your situation, your personal preferences, your history or your strengths. But I can tell you what I did wrong, and what I did right, and what worked for me, when it came to singleness and dating. But that may not be enough, you know? So I've asked other people to join in- to share their stories, their struggles, the things God is telling them when it comes to the tricky realm of relationships.

Relationships are, by definition, messy. Human beings mess stuff up, we make mistakes, we have less-than-pure motives. We compare ourselves with others. In short, we're just a big disaster waiting to happen. Then try to put two human beings together? Craziness.

But that's what God does. For many of us, we are led and called to a vocation called marriage. And marriage is, in fact, a calling. Living out God's relationship with His church here on earth? If that's not a divine appointment, I don't know what is.

There's an in-between time, though. A time when we wait. For so many of us, the waiting and dating point of our lives is incredibly difficult. I know, because I've been there. There's a tension in that time. You know you've been designed to fit into a marriage, but the actual relationship isn't there yet. So what do you do for the time being?

Or maybe you've met someone, you're dating someone, but you don't know if it's quite right. How do you know if it's right? Or you want to be sure that you're honoring God in this relationship, making sure things don't go too far (and I'm not just talking physically).

The whole thing is a giant balancing act.

Me, freaking out because I don't like heights or suspended bridges. You're welcome.

For some of us, the act is over pretty quickly- we're off the tightrope after a couple of years- and for some, we have to balance for much, much longer.

Once we've overcome that part of life, it's really easy to forget about all the balancing and tension and questions. It seems small in hindsight, and that makes it so that the ones who have been there don't teach the ones going through it right now.

I'd like to change that.

Even though I don't have all the answers, even though I can't know the needs and circumstances of everyone who reads this, I want to share the things I've learned, the things I did wrong, and the (very few) things I did right. I don't want you to be up on that tightrope all alone.

So that's what I'm going to try to do, here. If you'd like to follow along on Facebook, (most of the time I manage to get the posts linked up here), you can "Like" my page.

And if you have questions or comments or want to talk about something, you can shoot me an e-mail.

And if you think you've got some great advice you'd really love to share, e-mail me and we'll talk about guest posting.

We're all sisters in Christ. We don't have to go it alone.


  1. You can drive a motorcycle!? My dad had one when I was a kid and I loved it. Also, I'll read through a few of your other posts, but feel free to send me an email about what you're looking for in a guest post. katielookingforward@gmail.com

    1. Oh, no no no no- I don't *drive* it. I ride on the back while my husband drives. A lot. But driving? No. =)


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