Not for a Moment

(Hey, hey! Two posts in one day! Take that, 7 in 7!)  Disclaimer: I'm going to complain a little.

Today just... ugh.

I thought this time was different, you know? I get so hopeful and then so disappointed. I really thought my body finally worked this time, started to think about announcements and names... all while telling myself  Nuh uh, girl. Don't go there. You'll just be crushed... 

But I thought this time felt... different. Zeke reminded me, "You thought last time felt different, too." And he was right (and the little-girl-me inside my head is stomping my foot that he was right) and I'm disappointed. Again.

And Zeke says, "God has everything under control. He knows best- we have to trust that. It just wasn't the right time yet."

I know he's right. But geez. I just really wanted it to be the right time, already!

And Zeke says, "Honey, be patient and trust. We'll have children someday, whether they're from us or from someone else. God knows your heart." And that makes me want to cry because I don't like being patient.

And I'm mad at Zeke for being so very right and so very trusting and for having his emotions so very under control and for being just.so.faithful.

This song came on at work today. I want to listen to it over and over and over...

"Not for a moment will you forsake me, not for a moment will you forsake me."

I know the truth in that. I know it.

Hopefully the message in my head will work its way into my heart today.

Linking up with Living Proverbs 31, Marriage Monday, and Monday Musings