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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

When Your Husband Is a Maintenance Guy...

- You learn how to spell the word 'maintenance.' Seriously, English language? Couldn't have come up with an easier spelling for that one?

- You become very familiar (even though on my part, it's mostly unintentional) with phrases like, "priming the lake pump," "welding floats," and "3/8 socket." And you know what all those things mean.

- The entryway floor is always covered with mud, leaves, and sand.

- You learn to check pants pockets (ALL OF THEM), for drill bits, boat keys, tire pressure gauges, and little rubber seals.

Not this kind of rubber seal...

... I'm talking this kind of rubber seal. Not as cheerful.
- You become okay with the fact that most of those stains on his clothes are never, ever, ever coming out. Ever.

- Random cuts and scrapes (on his hands, his shins, his lower back, his thumb...) are to be expected, and he probably won't know how they got there.

- He'll need regular back rubs, shoulder rubs, forearm rubs, and calf rubs to soothe those sore muscles. The ones he gets from, you know, siding a house. Or switching out air conditioners. Or building a retaining wall.

- You'll need to figure out the difference between "work shirts" and "good shirts." And it's not always that easy.

- An understanding of mending (very basic, even) comes in handy. Otherwise you'll be buying new shorts every week or so. A needle and thread are currently sitting on my coffee table, just waiting. They'll be needed any moment now...

- Every once in a while, he'll have to fix something for some pretty young thing, and then she'll see the ring on his finger. And you'll think to yourself, "Yes, be jealous. Be veeerrry jealous."

- He will fix anything at camp within the hour. Anything. But that broken step on your porch? Broken for weeks.

- He comes home hot and tired and hungry. Every. Single. Day. Which makes you the perfect wife when you have the air conditioner on, some kind of food ready (delivery pizza!), and give him a comfy place to sit down.

- You may be constantly surprised by how many things he knows, and how well he does what he does. And you love all those surprises. 

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